First day at work

My little baby Zoe,

I returned to work today, leaving the tiny you at home with your grandmother Roza. You are only seven week old. I don't know of any other civilized country where maternity leave is only six weeks. I don't know how you feel about this, but it's a horrible experience for a mom. I'm not there to comfort you, to feed you, to play with you and make you laugh. And I'm not there to watch you grow, get stronger and gain awareness. I miss watching you sleep. I miss your facial expressions. Yes, you do have a few already. Happiness, curiosity, concern, and the "I need to poop soon" face. They put so much emphasis on breast feeding in this country, yet laws force companies  to allow only for six weeks of maternity leave. Yes, work dries up the milk as well as the soul sometimes. I drove home to feed you at lunch break. When I said good bye, you kept your eyes on me until I disappeared behind the door. I'll be crying for the rest of the day. Maybe I'm making a mistake. It feels so not worth it to leave you.

Love
Mommy