Your first haircut and other updates

Baby Zoe,

Today was my last day at work for this year. Tomorrow we are flying to Istanbul, to see Nine and Dede. I'm determined to to stay up until I finish this blog entry, which I've been meaning to write for a long time. Here is a summary of last month's events:

On November 12, Brendi, Mamma and Papa's hair dresser, gave you your first hair cut. You sat on a big chair, in front of a big mirror, and started crying, as she tied the big black apron around your neck - Neither Papa, nor I could console you, but a lolly pop did. We took pictures of the event, and Brendi put a few cut   locks of your cut hair in an envelop for us to keep.

I tried to go shoe shopping two days in a row, and failed in both attempts. Both times, you pulled every shoe within reach off the rack, and insisted on trying on the pink, the red, and the shiny shoes with high heels. You are a persistent girl, but the level of persistence you displayed was unlike anything I've seen in you before. So both days I gave up on finding shoes for myself, and eventually left the store. In the end, when the stores were open late, I went on my own.

You are becoming more and more helpful around the house. When we say "dirty laundry," you take the clothes to the dirty laundry basket. You want to help set the table, by carrying stuff from the kitchen to the dining area. When I take my shoes off, you try to put them where they belong, and if you see me barefoot, you bring me my slippers. You are the cutest little monster. And monster you are.

When you see olives, you see nothing else. In fact, you ask me to open the fridge, and point at the olives. Then you put them in your mouth one by one. When full, you start chewing.

You went through a period where you'd scratch kids at daycare if they wanted to join you in play. Your teacher Ms. Elena thought our move might have had something to do with it, and encouraged you to "touch gently." I think your behavior has been improving. Last two weeks, when I came to pick you up from daycare, I found you playing with other kids, mostly with Charlotte and Scout.

There is so many other things going on with you, that if I were to capture everything, I'd have to write several times a day. Your language skills are growing hundred miles an hour, and so are your other mental abilities. You're building towers with blocks or things that look like blocks, putting things inside boxes, categorizing items by color.... You are one smart monster and you make us feel proud every day.

And here are a few things I did for you lately.
You love playing with a doll grandma Roza gave you - the one that has a bath tub, and all the bath accessories. There was a period where you played with her every day, soaping her, putting cream and changing her diapers. So I sewed an outfit for her - a white skirt with lady bugs, and a green shirt, with a ladybug button, to match the skirt.

I knit a red hat for you, and sewed a pair of matching mittens. They are gray and red. I put a little mirror shaped like hart on one hand, and a lady bug on the other. This was my first attempt at sewing mittens, but I think you liked them.

Love,

Mommy

Moving, and again

Baby Zoe,

I haven't blogged much lately, because we were busy moving - again and again. After having lived eight months in East Austin, we decided to move to a nicer area, closer to your daycare. The "new" house was cute, with great potential, a beautiful yard, and in a prime location. Alas, the landlord wanted nothing to do with repairs. Dog urine soaked into hardwood floors which at some time were beautiful, sinking foundation that split the house in two, broken windows, chipping paint with lead - I sent samples to the lab that verified lead presence. Should I even mention the rat poop on the shelves and inside the oven drawer... We didn't have gas for the first five days, thus no heat or hot water. We washed you in the big toy sink at daycare, among other places. And we lost Uhura. Our sweet, lovely Uhura. I walked around the neighborhood, yelling out her name, as you yelled "gatto." Two weeks later we moved. It's a cute little house and you have a beautiful room - the nicest in the house - overlooking the front yard and the street. We spend time outside walking and playing. Alcatraz keeps us company. Poor cat is having hard time claiming his territory as other cats in the neighborhood are bigger than him and are a menace. We still don't have a bathroom sink - it's being repaired since we moved in - but compared to what we lived through, this is still paradise.

Things I missed telling in this rush that deserve blog entries of their own:
Your first haircut, shoe shopping, olive eating, you as the daycare menace... Stay tuned, I'll be telling all about these in the coming days.

Elmo

I'm not sure how your love for Elmo began. Was it his picture on the box of crackers we occasionally buy? The toy puppets we see at baby stores? Was it something you learned at daycare? Odd that you care for him without having watched Sesame Street. At breakfast you watch music videos on Youtube. When you see Elmo on the screen, you point, repeat his name, and lose yourself in his songs.

I got Papa Elmo pajamas. When he put them on, your pointer finger moved from one Elmo to the other, your mouth echoing "EElmo! and your face lit in disbelief. A few days later I got you an Elmo T-Shirt. You love it and you look awesome in it.

One more word to your linguistic repertoire

Baby Zoe, 


You are going through a linguistic breakthrough. You are able to capture the main phonemes of the words you hear, and repeat. Although you can't say the words accurately, the sounds you catch foreshadow perfect pronunciation in months to come. There is one more word to be added to your master list: Bubble! 

This picture (where you are dressed as a devil for your first Halloween) doesn't represent your excitement over bubbles, but they make you ecstatic and you ask for them over and over and over: "Bobbaeeeeel! Bobbaeeeel!"


*UPDATE!*
ZOE, THIS EVENING YOU SAID TWO MORE WORDS! "UOVO" AND "BUTT." 
Your 'uovo' sounded more like 'wovo,' which is good enough, especially when you were pointing directly at an egg, but the way you pronounced 'butt' was perfect. Papa and I were so excited, that we asked you to point at the butt of your stuffed animals, as well as ours. You gave each a mini spank, and said "butt, butt."


Here is the complete list of words you say:
Buh bye
Mamma
Papa
Boob
Hot
Bubble
Uovo
Butt

Papa's birthday and your new crib

Baby Zoe,

Last week we got you a new crib, and celebrated Papa's birthday.

Aunt Bernadette needed her crib back for her grandson. Papa and I were already talking about moving you to an independent sleeping arrangement where you can get in and out of bed at will. So off we went to Ikea, like the rest of the population, and ate Swedish meatballs at the cafeteria with all other shoppers. Americans like collective lifestyle and we hoped not to assimilate, at least by eating some place else. But Ikea is a universe, with nothing else around. And between the entrance and exit, there is at least half a day. By the time we reached the cafeteria, it was already your lunch time. We all got Swedish meatballs - two adult and one kid's meal. Lucky for me, you liked the balls so much, that you ate some of mine. When you grow up, you will wonder how you could possibly like them. Maybe you just were too hungry.

We found the crib we had in mind, as well as a nice mattress, and Papa put it all together. Having gotten used to sleeping with us, first few nights you woke up crying, and we ended up bringing you to our bed, since you didn't figure out how to slide down your new bed yet. Then it was Papa's birth day. We dressed you up, and went to a Japanese restaurant we haven't tried before - Uchico. You enjoyed your bites of tuna, scallops, in flavors considered fit for adult palate, though you enjoyed the ice cream as well. By the time we left, you were exhausted, since it was past your bedtime, and fell asleep in the car. Not to wake you up, we put you straight in bed, and in the morning, we woke up to your cries. We rushed to the door, and found you running down the hall way, screaming, with your arms up in the air, still wearing your evening dress. It was a funny scene, and we don't know what you were thinking, but we were proud that you got off the bed on your own. And for the first time in months Papa and I slept an entire night without a foot on our face or a kick in our stomach.

Your linguistic repertoire

Baby Zoe,

You talk and sing like a happy bird, although most of what you say makes sense to you only. Here are the words that you pronounce clearly, in the order you mastered them:

Buh bye
Mamma
Papa
Boob
Hot - when you say hot, you also shake your hand, as if to fan off the heat.

You've been trying to say "more," but for now, you represent that word better in sign language than in speech, since "r" is a difficult sound to say.

News from your teacher

Baby Zoe,

Friday afternoons I'm excited. We leave work a little earlier, so I see you a little sooner, and I look forward to our weekend together.  I curse, grumble and leave my soul in traffic before I finally make it to daycare. You welcome me with a happy face, and your teacher tells me about your day. Yesterday was one such Friday. Your teacher told me that you had a good day. You ate, pooped, played, napped some... but that you poked kids to wake them up from their nap. Even when she asked you not to, you went around poking to wake them up . It made me laugh, because both Papa and I didn't like napping.

Last week your teacher told Papa that you were a smart baby. Not that we haven't noticed, but it feels nice to hear it from others. The teachers were looking for a missing cup of one of the babies. You overheard the conversation, found the cup, and brought it to the teacher. Later, the teacher asked one of the girls to bring her shoes She didn't understand what the teacher was asking, so you went and brought her shoes. You amaze us with the amount of language you understand. How do you know who owns which cup or which pair of shoes belongs to whom?

Love,

Mommy

A day without nursing

Baby Zoe, you made it! We spent an entire day without nursing. October 2nd, 2011. When it was time to nurse, I went to yoga and left you with Papa. When I came back, it was dinner time, followed by bath, reading, singing and sleeping. You avenged me the next morning, but October 2nd opened a new chapter for us. From then on we have been nursing every other day. In a few days let's stop nursing all together. Toward this goal, Papa and I decided that in a week or two, Papa will pick you up from daycare every day, since that's when you want to nurse most. We are hoping this will help break the habit.

Kiss, Mommy - or as you say, Mamma!

Bed time routine

Little Zoe,

I've been trying to reduce your nursing because "you're a big girl now, and big girls don't use boob," as I try to explain to you, and because it's damaging my bones. So in the last two months we gradually reduced nursing to four, three, and finally two times a day. And in the last four days, we came down to one.

It hasn't been easy, and it's still a struggle. It makes me sad to refuse when you point your finger and ask for "meh" (milk) or "bub" (boob). You insist, and pull my shirt. I give you the speech about big girls not using boob, and look for ways to distract your attention. You are not ready to give up the session right after daycare yet. If I refuse, you cry so much, like your world has collapsed. So I give in. As for the bedtime session, we managed to develop a routine as a substitute for the boob. I can't say it works great, but it is manageable. Here is what we do:

After dinner, we all go to the bathroom and give you a bath. You enjoy playing in the water. Then we put your pajamas on, and go to the big bed. I read you a book. Lately you've been wanting to read "Counting Kisses." With the first line of the book - "My tired little baby, do you need a kiss?" - you bring your head to me for a kiss. When we are done reading, we both put our heads on the pillow and I sing you songs. When you ask for the boob, I give you some milk from a cup, and sing some more. Then I kiss you good night and leave you with Papa. You walk to the edge of the bed, closest to the door and cry "mamma mamma mamma." And cry some more. Against my instinct, I don't respond. From what Papa tells me, you give up, go back to the pillow, put your head down and sleep.

Love,
Mommy

Undocumented

Lovely Zoe,

Some scenes fly by in seconds and I can't capture them in photos or videos. They are priceless, and it's a shame that some things you will never know, and I will never see once you grow.

You take quick steps toward me, arms lifted, hands stretched open, looking straight at my face, smiling big, asking to be hugged up. Just when I'm about to pick you up you say "Ahhh." I have no idea what you mean, but from the tone of it is sounds like "well, it's about time!"

You come to me carrying a book you pick from the shelf. Pointing at it, you ask - "eh? eh?" -  if I would read it to you. Your face too, is a mix of question and anticipation, eyes open big. How can I say no.

When you see me arrive at daycare, your face beams and you point at me. Then you turn to the teacher, excited, still pointing at me, showing her that mommy is here.

There are endless scenes that we try to capture as best we can, but you are already camera aware, so it's never the same as seeing them first hand.

I should mention another scene I did not document. You made a little poop in the bathtub, which I did not record. Instead, I quickly took you out, and set you on your potty, where you finished your business. Luckily, the poop flaked away and dissolved.

Kiss
Mommy

Zoe, could you please bring me my flip flops?

You were hanging next to me while I was standing barefoot, ironing.

I asked: "Zoe, could you please bring me my flip flops?

You turned around, left the room, and came back carrying my flip flops in your hand.

My jaw dropped. When did you start understanding so well? What else do you know? It's like yesterday that you were barely crawling.

Love,
Mommy

Mucous

Little Zoe,

On our first visit to daycare, I was surprised at how much nose drip all babies had, and was proud of how clean and dry you were. Well, it took one week for you to catch up. Now, you, like the rest of the babies, have mucous oozing down your nose. You got sick, passed it on to me, and recovered, until next time. Your nose was stuffy, you were coughing, and had mucous in your eyes even. They say it's normal when you are in daycare.

I don't like your daycare. I already complained twice. I hope they don't take it out on you. I complained about a teacher that lost it during lunch time, and dragged two kids on their knees, pushed a third one on the floor, and threw the food of another across the table, and it spilled. All in my presence. This was right before I started working. Yesterday I complained again, when I realized that they have not been giving you water to drink all day. Today when I picked you up, they pulled your cup out of the fridge, with water in it. Every time I pick you up, the teachers tell me that you had a great day, you slept for almost two hours, and that you ate everything. Sounds suspicious, as this contradicts with what I see when I visit. Today aunt Gaia visited you during lunch and she helped you finish your meal, because you were not eating fast enough. Yes, Aunt Gaia is here to see you. Yesterday she visited you during snack time, and said that every child received a banana piece, two centimeters long. The teacher must have seen the shock in her eyes, and gave you an extra piece. Poor babies. Poor Charlotte, with her terrible butt rash. She looked at me with terror in her eyes, asking for help. I didn't understand why. Then I saw her rash. Knowing it was changing time, she anticipated the pain, and sought rescue. How she was fighting and crying with pain, while the teacher was rough-handling her. I was so tempted to offer to change her myself. Instead, I put your shoes on, and left the place as fast as I could.

Baby pick-up time at the daycare is magical. Parents rush in after a long day's work, glowing with smiles, eager to claim and hold their babies. Other babies watch the reunion with no trace of smile, waiting for their own parents. Some cry. September 5 is a holiday. We will have three days, all for ourselves.

Kiss,
Mommy.

First day at work

Lovely Zoe,

Today was my first day at work. Papa took you to daycare for the first time. I'm never happy to pass my mommy duties on to anyone. No matter how well Papa takes care of you, and he does, no one can know your needs like I do. The few bites of banana or bread you eat right after I put you in your car seat, or the sips of milk you accept before I say good bye at daycare, no one can figure out such details of your morning feeding.

The drive from work to daycare was long and stressful, and had I not violated a few minor traffic laws, I would not have made it. When I arrived, you were in the yard, when you saw me, you almost cried, but your expression, quickly turned into a smile. I flung the gates open, ran down the stairs, and showered you in hugs and kisses. Now it was my turn to cry, the quilt of having left you there until close time. In a few months I'll be working from home once a week. In those days I will be able to pick you up earlier, and maybe even visit you for lunch.

Here are some other developments lately:

I found you standing on your toes, with my keys in hand, trying to reach the door lock. Apparently, you took the keys from my bag, and figured out what to do with them.

Since you discovered walking, you crawl no more. You stand up and walk.

You are fascinated by brushing your teeth. You've observed me go through the steps: take the brush, put the paste on, hold it under the water for a second and brush. You ask for your brush, and unless I do all the steps, you are not satisfied. Then you start brushing, in your own way. I wish you'd let us do it for you for now, but when we try, you clench your mouth. Only you are allowed to brush your teeth.

I can't take you to book stores. You empty the shelves just like you do at home.

Kiss,
Mommy.

Daycare

Little Zoe,

It's that time of life. I start working, you start daycare. We have two weeks to acclimate you. For now, you are the youngest in the class. In September, they will move the "big" kids (those who turned two) to another class, and bring in some kids your age from the class below.

Here is what we did this week as part of the acclimation process:

Day 1 - 8:30am-10:00am
We went together, and I stayed with you the whole time. You were happy to see other kids, and you mingled easily. First you played outside as I sat and watched. Then we all went inside for the morning snack. I sat you next to Ellie who was very sweet, and kept saying "Hi Zoe." When it was time to leave, you resisted my pull, and reached toward the kids, wanting to stay longer.

Day 2 - 8:15am-10:am
I stayed with you half an hour, and left. When I came back, you were in the play room, sitting on the floor, on the teacher's lap, crying, surrounded by all the children. The teacher said you just started crying, probably worried that I wasn't back yet. She said Luke brought you toys to play and cheered you up. Too bad Luke will move to a higher class in September. When we left the classroom, the kids crowded behind the door, faces and hands pressed against the glass, probably wishing their moms would take them too. Everyone who's been to daycare knows these feelings all too well, no matter how much fun they are having.

Day 3 - 8:15am-10:am
Papa and I dropped you off together and stayed for half an hour. Papa was sad to see that you were the youngest, and not as interactive as the older kids. You are new, and younger, so it's normal. On the other hand, you are more mobile and interactive than the kids in your age group. In September your class will have a good mix of kids and you will fit right in. When I came to pick you up, you were in the play room, reading books with other kids.

When you saw me, you wanted out.

Day 4
8:15am-10:am
On the drive to daycare, it took my brain several seconds to connect the smell in my nose to your bum. When we arrived, we first changed your poopy diaper. If you fought less, we could have done it faster. By the time we were done, some of the kids were outside on the playground. I stayed with you for a few minutes, kissed you goodbye, and left. When I came back, you were sitting on the teacher's lap, reading a book with Ellie.

I greeted you. You were doing ok, so I went to talk to the other teacher. Two minutes later I turn around and see a teacher holding my sobbing Zoe, tears running down her eyes. I think you were upset that I just greeted you and walk away, without picking you up. Sorry little one, you seemed interested in the book. You showed it to me when I came in, and went back to reading. We quickly put on your shoes, and before we were able to leave the building, you insisted on nursing. We sat on the floor in an empty classroom, and had a long nursing session, and your face relaxed.

Day 5

8:30-12:30
Impatient to see you, I came 15 minutes early and peeked through the glass door. When you saw me, you started crying. The teacher said you did ok while I was gone, but kept going to the door looking for me.

Before we left, we had lunch with your friends. I prepared steamed carrots and broccoli, hard boiled egg, and grapes for us. Judging by the food in other kids' boxes, the parents were knowledgeable about nutrition. Too bad not much made it to the kids' stomach. Maybe it was the cheap, adult-size spoons you were given, or the lack of feeding help offered. I was relieved that no prayer was said, a rare event in a Texas daycare.

You sat next to Charlotte and across from Oona. I sat between you and Boone, who was trying to grab his rice with his hand, and losing the few grains he caught before they made it to his mouth. He gave a few desperate attempts to the long spoon, and switched back to the finger technique. He was clearly hungry. I grabbed the spoon, filled it up, and said "Boone, open your mouth - haaam." He ate, and smiled.

Across from you, Oona was engrossed in her own battle with saucy beans, also going back and forth between the ridiculous spoon and her little hand. Between you and Boon, by the time I was able to assist her, she spilled her bean box on the floor and on her lap. She had a squeezy bag of fruit paste which she didn't know how to use, so she moved on to eat Boone's grapes. In about 15 minutes the teacher started "asking" if you were all done and rushed everyone to clean and nap.

The quiet Charlotte obeyed the teacher's orders and got up, looking at her unfinished scrambled eggs. "You didn't like your eggs?" the teacher asked. She probably did. Charlotte looked like a child who enjoyed food, if she only was given some time to eat! She eyed your grapes shyly, and you offered her one. She dropped it, and got under the table to get it. On her way up she hit her head, and returned the grape to you. I wish she would have eaten the grape.

The whole lunch scene was sad and absurd, especially for an expensive daycare in a high end neighborhood - you can tell by the children's names. It got me thinking that I should have put you in a daycare on the East side, with Hispanic teachers, who are more maternal and more likely to feed the babies. The teacher explained that babies need practice to learn to eat on their own. Can't they also put a few bites in your mouths while you're practicing?

After lunch, as the babies were getting ready for their nap, you were ready to leave for the weekend.

Shoes

Your eyes were fixed on my pink sandals as I put them on for the first time. When we came back home from our outing, I took them off, and went about barefoot, as I usually do. You brought back my sandals, and in your expressive sign language, asked me to put them on again. I did, and took them off. You asked me to put them on again, and again. Then you made me follow you to a place where I had another pair of shoes, and asked me to put those on, repeatedly.

Your insistence on shoe wear was new and interesting. I told you that you had shoes too, took you to your room and opened the drawer where we keep them. We rarely put shoes on you, because it's recommended to let babies be barefoot. You were happy to see your shoes, and asked me to put them on you, both the pink pair and the white. Next day your fascination with shoes continued. Papa and I were surprised that you wanted to wear shoes, since you opposed to anything restricting, such as hats, bracelets, hair ribbons, and up until now, shoes! Given your interest, and your newly developing walking skill, I decided to take my baby shoe shopping. The pairs you have at home are soft, and are more for show.

So there we were, at the mall, yesterday morning, with a mission to get you your first pair of walking shoes. To my astonishment, each pair cost $40, plus tax, lets not forget. In an act of conspiracy, all stores charged the exact same amount for baby's first walking shoes, which will be worn no more than a month or two. I selected 2 pairs for you to choose from. You seemed to like both, so we picked the one more summery. Mostly white, with light pink accent. Very cute. Then I pictured myself a month from now, packing the shoes away, barely used, and coming to the store to buy another pair. I reviewed my budget, my emotion, my reason, and the amount of mother's guilt I could handle. I left the store, thinking to come back in a month. As we walked around the mall, I pictured your excitement about wearing shoes and the way you look at other girl's shoes. I wondered if I would be a bad mom if I didn't get you the shoes. Would you be ok with walking with your soft sole shoes? Would I be damaging your feet? Would you think your shoes aren't as nice as what other girls are wearing? I had no answers to any of my questions. Half an hour later we were back in the store, buying the overpriced shoes with typical Chinese workmanship. It makes you so happy to wear them.

Your specs at 1 year

Baby love,

We went to your one-year wellness check the other day. Here are your new measurements:

Weight: 8.7kg (19.14lb) - 25th percentile
Height: 77.5cm (30.5in) - 90th percentile
Vaccinations: mumps, measles, rubella, polio

I was concerned about your weight, but the doctor said it was normal to become leaner at this stage of development. As the doctor was leaving the room, you waved and said "buh bye." You look and act awesome. Also your understanding has been increasing tremendously. When I ask if you want music, you smile and point at the radio. When I ask if you want water, you point at the water bottle on top of the fridge and move in excitement. And many more such examples.

Oh one more thing, today mommy got a job. Three months ago I left my job because I hated it, and also to take care of you. On your first birthday I had an interview which today turned into a job. Now we have to find you a daycare - or as Papa calls it, baby prison.

Love,
Mommy

Your first birthday

Baby Zoe,

Today you are one year old. It's a special day for us. First there was me and Papa. Then you came, and turned us into a happy family. Through you I understood what people meant when they said that having kids is a lot of work but it's all worth it. Life was not complete without you. With you, I just don't get to complete anything.

We celebrated with balloons, love and foods you enjoy - fillet, peas, tomatoes, berries, and a special bottle of wine we've been saving for a worthy occasion: Stolpman, Sangiovese, 2006. We got it in California last May, when I was still pregnant with you, after having tasted a bunch of other wines. This one stood out, like you. And tonight you enjoyed sipping it too. On Sunday we will celebrate your birthday with friends and a bigger cake.

Love,
mommy

Step step step step

Annnnd you made it! 

Papa and I were quietly hoping that you'd walk before your 1st birthday. Not that it matters, but parents have strange wishful thoughts. Maybe it's just us. We were running out of time, as your birthday is tomorrow.

This past weekend you took 2-3 wobbly steps several times, each ending in a fall. On Tuesday, I counted seven! I got excited and dialed the first number on my phone, thinking it was Papa, but it was a recruiter. So I told her that my daughter took her first seven steps. This is how it went: First you took three, then you stopped for a second and looked at me with a little smile, and you continued with four more. 

Yesterday we went to a play date where you displayed your walking skills with greater determination to other babies and moms. I think you were extra motivated, having seen the boy that could walk comfortably. For now you prefer crawling over walking, as it gets you around faster. But I think in a few days you'll be more daring and will practice your little steps more frequently. 

Way to go my lovely Zoe!

Mommy

The toilet bowl, Zoe, is not a pool

Today I caught you leaning against the toilette bowl, happily splashing the water around, clearly enjoying the sound, the feel and the motion. So idyllic against a backdrop of a pond or a river. I said "no Zoe," moving you away from the bowl, and you started crying.

I am writing this down, so when you grow up you know the kinds of stuff I said "no" to. You'll thank me for this one. I quickly lifted you up against the sink and washed your hands the way my grandfather used to wash mine. Rubbing the hands with lots of soap and running water, over and over, watching the dirt drip into the white sink until there was no gray drop left. In your case, there was no such visual feedback as your hands were not as dirty as mine used to be, so I washed yours until my mind was at peace.

Love,
Mommy

The menace of London subway

Baby Zoe,

The London subway must have reached a state of tranquility now that we are back in Texas. Passengers can read their newspapers, listen to music, or drift into a nap, without Zoe pulling their ties, wanting their phones, digging in their bags, or offering them half chewed crackers.

We did a lot in London and around - mostly fun stuff, and some not so much, like visiting the horrible Harrods. But the height of our visit for you was riding the subway, which we did several times a day. The weather was great, and so was the food, two things that London is known to fail. But coming from Texas, we were in the Garden of Eden, feasting like kings.

Nonna and Nonno were charmed by your energy. Your first days' shyness quickly gave its way to the Zoe that we know - the one that owns the place and explores without reserve. In this visit we also discovered that you adore olives and Nonna's steaks. I'm not sure how you chewed them with no side teeth, but your pointer finger kept asking for more as your face expressed delight.

What else have you been up to lately?
You feed us with your little hands, you attempt to comb your hair and brush it with a tooth brush, you point at me, calling mamma, and you wave, saying buh bye.

Ice cream truck

The ice cream truck passes by our home everyday, playing a tempting melody. Papa and I are waiting for you to ask for money and run to pick your ice cream.

Tiny little tooth

It's peeking out from your lower gum. So tiny and sharp. Soon it will become a pearl. Then you'll have a whole string of pearls, complementing your already beautiful smile. I'm not just saying that. People on the street always tell me what beautiful smile you have, and what a gorgeous daughter I have.

Kiss
Mommy

Standing up

Baby Zoe,

You're rising from the floor with no help at all and standing on your feet. Once up, you applaud your achievement, like you do when you put food in your mouth, picked with your little fingers. We applaud too.

For the last couple of months your goal was to come to standing without support and last week, a day after your 10th month birthday, you mastered the task. You did it again and again until it became easy, and you set your eyes on walking. You have a way to communicate your mind without language. You want me to walk you up and down the hallway so you practice. I think its a matter of days.

This activity and drive to grow comes with a price, well worth the pay. We had some falls and bumps and bruises. All minor casualties, but it's never fun to see you get hurt. My little wild flower, you're growing faster than any baby I know.

Stick it on the fork, Mom

Little Zoe,

Your brain is developing fast. I'm trying to keep up, but until you learn to speak, I will be one step behind. As your wishes evolve, feeding continues to be confusing. You no longer want mushed food, so I've been keeping your meals more textured. Lately you've been rejecting that too, turning your head and locking your chin. Somewhere along the way I discovered that although you might reject food presented on your spoon, you might eat it from mine. You may also lock your mouth as if you can eat no more, but if I give the food to your hand, you chomp it down. For a while we kept you busy with peas and carrots you'd pick, while I sneaked in a few spoonfuls of food. Now you want the fork, and an approaching spoon, in most cases, is an abomination.

I read that when babies start wanting to eat on their own before they actually can, you should give them a spoon just to hold, while feeding them with another. You, Zoe, want a fork, not a spoon. And certainly not an empty one. When I approach you with a spoonful of food, you move your mouth away, and stretch your arm that holds the fork toward me. You want me to stick the bite on your fork. With your little hand, you maneuver the fork toward your mouth and take the bite in. A victorious expression usually follows accompanying our cheers. The only problem, Zoe, is that you have no teeth. There are very few foods out there that I can get soft enough to chew with your gums and hard enough to stay on the fork without spilling. So get those sharp little teeth soon.

Love,
Mommy.

If you're happy and you know it...

... clap your hands!

Baby Zoe, you've been watching us, the grownups, clap our hands. We also practiced clapping together - Zoe's hand and  mommy's hand together make sound: clap clap clap. On April 10 you started clapping on your own, with joy and persistence of a goal well achieved. The following day we Skyped with grandma Roza. You looked straight at the monitor, and displayed your newly earned skill, over and over.

In the meantime you also learned the occasions for clapping: Sometimes we clap when we sing. But we always clap when Zoe pees in her potty, or succeeds in something she's been trying to do, like standing up on her feet without support. A few days ago during dinner you picked the pea from your tray, and put it in your mouth. Papa and I cheered and clapped and continued eating. You repeated the action, looked at us victoriously, and started clapping for yourself. We joined you, proud and entertained. You are the cutest thing.

Nine-month wellness check

Hey baby love,

Early yesterday morning we went to the doctor's office for your nine-month wellness check. Here are your new specs:

Height: 73.7cm (29"), which puts you in the 90th percentile.
Weight: 8kg, which puts you in the 50th percentile.

You are still tall, slim, and strong as a bull. You got vaccinated for Polio and Hepatitis B. The nurse also punctured your heel to draw blood for routine testing.

We had more pleasant plans for the afternoon: Go for a run all the way to the other side of town, and walk back half way to have lunch at Whole Foods. Watch the birds and the people in the outside seating area as you dip your feet in the stream. When done, walk back home. You love sitting there with your feet in the water, rubbing against the little stones. You lean forward, reach your hand in, pick one stone after another, and bring each to your mouth. And each time I say "No Zoe. Yuck. Yuck."

Right when we finished running and started strolling back, your doctor called, worried. Your test results were not good. Multiple numbers were low, indicating a serious problem. She said she wanted to re-run the test using traditional methods, because the heel puncture sometimes messed up the sample. This needed to be done today, and we were quite a ways from home. By the time you read this, I will be old and frail, and it will be hard to believe, but know that your mom runs like a gazelle. I had one goal - to get you in the car and to the laboratory. So I texted Papa and started running back home. We drove to the nearest lab, with a single employee attending the desk AND doing the blood work. She switched to Texan accent for the right patient.

My little Zoe so tiny and helpless. You set on my lap in the special chair. I crossed my legs around yours to restrain you from kicking, and gave you a bear hug to control your upper body. The nurse made a tourniquet around your tiny arm to pop the vein out, and pushed in the unexpected needle. It hurt. No blood came out so she started moving the needle inside your arm to find the right spot. It hurt us all to watch, and finally the tube started filling.

Now the waiting started. The doctor ordered express results and asked the lab to notify her on her cell phone, lest the results came out after she left the office. We went to Whole Foods. I made a little food box for us to share, with items you like to eat - berries, pineapples, cheese, green beans. We also had a slice of bread, which we shared with the birds. It made me happy to see you devour the blackberries, juice dripping down your chin. You smiled and talked to passers by as if they were old friends. Papa and I talked on the phone. It was hard to believe that an energy monster like you could be seriously sick.

Two hours passed. Doctor's office called. Your test results came back normal. I went back into the store and got a beer.

To pee or not to pee

Zoe baby,

Papa has been determined to potty train you early. I'm with him. In our time, babies weren't in diapers until they were three, four years old. By the time we were one, if not sooner, we were potty trained. It was easier for us, because our high-chairs had a built in hole, so we got lots of practice letting things out as soon as we were able to sit up.

Several weeks a go Papa showed up with a chamber pot. We put in the bathroom, facing the toilet. When we go to the toilette, sometimes we take you along and sit you on your pot, so you watch and learn as we explain to you what goes on. Sometimes we make you sit on your pot naked for a minute or two during diaper change or before a bath. In one such occasion, on April 9, you started peeing. We cheered and clapped, despite the coincidental nature of the event, so you know you did something good. But this evening, when it was time for a diaper change, Papa put you on the pot and told you to pee. You looked at us with understanding - lo and behold - and started peeing! We are not 100% sure you peed with the awareness of sitting on the pot, but it sure seemed so. With some more practice, we are hoping that soon you will be able to tell us when you need to pee, and we'll take you to your pot.

Love,
Mommy.

Where is Zoe?

Baby Zoe,

Grandma Roza returned to her home. I left work, and am taking care of you until I have another job. Being a housewife is not the future I envisioned, but having a retarded, low pay work or catching your milestones, I'll take the latter when I can. So here are some things I caught lately:

The other day, as  I was pushing your stroller around the lake, you lifted the blanket up over your face, and when I asked "Zoe, where are you?" you revealed a grinning face, followed by my exclamation "here you are!" We've been playing hide-and-seek during diaper changes, but I was surprised that you transfered the principle of the game into a different environment and actually initiated it. We played the game all the way home.

When people wave "Hello," you wave back, lifting your arm, moving your hand, and studying how your little fingers move independently. You study everything. I don't like waving "Good bye" to you, because I don't think you know the difference yet.

You have your own shelf in the kitchen cabinet. When I work in the kitchen, I open the door, you stand up, and pull all shelf contents on to the kitchen floor. You shake things and bang them against one another. I join you on the floor, and show you how different materials make different sounds. Your interest goes beyond, and you pull things from the surrounding shelves. I removed all fragile objects within your reach. Papa pointed out that you can actually reach a fragile salad bowl - you are so tall - but I'm out of available shelves.

Your goal lately has been to stand up without support. You squat, and try to pull yourself up, holding to nothing. You're very close. With a little push, you managed to stay up on the bed for a couple of seconds once. Soon you'll stand on your own and walk.

Your first movie

Baby Zoe,

At 8 months you've been to the movies. In a big theater, with a huge screen, you watched The King's Speech. Tuesday mornings are Baby Days at the Alamo Theater. I was off that day, so the three of us girls- you, me, and Grandma Roza went to the movies. You were excited during the previews and the introduction. Once the movie started, you fell asleep in my arms, and stayed so for the entire show. My Zoe that never sleeps closed her eyes and got some rest. I think most babies were asleep. Dark room, parents' cozy arms, humming surround sound... We should do this again.

Kiss,
Mommy

Our lunch dates

Baby Zoe,

We moved into a house farther away from work, and I can't make it home to feed you at lunch. If there's a will, there's a way. And there's Grandma Roza. Every day this week she took the bus to bring you half way between home and work. She is annoyed and amused by the unhelpful people riding and driving the bus. She is lucky if there is a Mexican on board, because they are the only ones to help her  juggle folding the stroller, carrying you, the bag, and paying the fare. We meet outside the supermarket by our old apartment. I park the car and run to you, waving my arms, yelling "Zoe," "Zoe." You smile, and shake your arms, happy. After our reunion kisses, we sit at the picnic table and start with the milk. Then we move on to your homemade baby food. When done, we check out the big green watermelons piled outside, and tap them with our hands to listen to "tok" "tok" "tok." Then it's time for me to leave. I remind you that we will meet in the evening, after work. I wave many goodbyes as I walk backward to my car. You and Grandma wait for the bus. At first you smile. I don't know what happens after I get in the car. I wish you knew that I have to go.

Love,
Mommy.

Shatter time

Hi Baby Zoe,

It's that time of your development. You reach and pull everything you see. We've been grabbing bottles and plates from your grip, and putting them away from your reach. You like to put the bottles in your mouth and pretend to drink like a grown up. Last night, you managed to break your first glass. After dinner, Papa and I went to the laundromat because the dryer at home wasn't working. A lot of things don't work at home. I'd like to mention this, so in the future when we look back to this blog entry, hopefully we'll smile and see how far we have come. But I digress...

When we came home, there was a shattered glass on the floor. Grandma said that "it" pulled the table cloth and and there flew the glass. I thought she meant the cat, since in Turkish there is no grammatical gender, but turns out it was you. My baby Zoe. This is one of many broken glasses to come.

Love,
Mommy

Nananananana!

Last night Papa and I were sitting at the dinner table, crafting an email to the apartment leasing office. You were crawling under the table, between our legs. Pulling my pants, climbing on chairs... Then you started a loud Nanana, followed by another nanana, and another! We joined you in excitement and all three of us chanted a nanananana!

This is a big linguistic milestone. You are exposed to too many languages which makes things confusing, as you try to separate sounds and make a language choice. But there it was, your first repetitive consonant. Nanana. I was very happy to be a witness. I'm missing out on your development while at work. So it's a major treat to catch what I can. W

Grandma Roza said that you understand certainexpressions. When she says "Let's change popo," you look down and touch your diaper. When she says "Lets go dut dut" you get excited, knowing you are going outside. I noticed too, that you started understanding some speech, mostly by the way you look at me when I say certain things.

Can't wait to hear your next sound. What's it going to be? Mama?

Kiss

Your contribution

Baby Zoe,

You are on the Mother's Milk Bank website, with your signature smile - mouth wide open, big appetite for life. Next to your picture, is a little blurb written by Mommy about our milk donation. It's too early to tell for sure, but you look so smart. This is the most I can do, but you might be able to make real contributions to science and medicine. Take advantage of your potential. I want you to be what I am not, what you can be if you want.

Here is the link to our donation. Dad made a good point that the page might not exists by the time you grow up, so he suggested that I include a screen shot.

Love,
Mommy

Your new mission

Baby Zoe,

You set yourself a goal. You want to stand up. Your every move is aimed at that goal. Every furniture piece, wall or person along your way is an opportunity to pull yourself up. You smile with pride when you do, as we clap and cheer you on. You are focused, like you were about crawling just a few weeks a go. Now, when you get down as if to crawl, you lift your knees off the ground, push your butt up, press your feet down, and try to stand up. Soon you'll be able to shift your weight and lift your hands off the ground.

Another development - You've become more expressive about your needs. Grandma Roza discovered that you like napping in your car seat listening to music, when you finally give in to tiredness. When I'm around you still resist sleep, so I can't share this experience. Grandma said that yesterday when you started getting sleepy, you  went to your car seat, looked at her laptop where the music is, she put on a tango tune, covered you with a blanket, and zzzzzzzzzz.

Your first solid poop

Hi little baby,

You have accomplished another milestone. On January 29 you made your first solid poop. We took a picture, of course, and will post it on your online photo album. I think I will keep it out of your blog. The poop was a result of bananas and butternut squash cooked in meat broth. All home made and delicious.

Congratulations!

Kiss, Mommy.

Six-month wellness check and birthday celebration

Still on your way to becoming a model...tall and slim. Also smart and strong.
Weight: 6.5kg / 14.35 oz (50%) 
Height: 67.3cm / 26.5in (75%)
Vaccinations: DTaP and Rotavirus  


We celebrated your 6 month birthday a little late, to time it with Aunt Gaia's arrival from New York. 

This also allowed Grandma Maria to finish knitting the pink alpaca dress you wore the eve of the celebration. She was surprised at how beautiful it turned out.You are also carrying a little gold bracelet with your named carved, complements of my uncle's family. Elegance from head to ankle, as you have no shoes on.

We went to a Japanese restaurant and ate delicious sushi with chop sticks. We ended up asking for multiple sets, as you kept throwing down the sticks. In the end I ate with my fingers and one stick.

Love, Mommy

Six-month milestones

Baby Zoe,

You're crawling! January 16: The day after your 6-month birthday, you moved forward on your knees and hands. No more than 4 steps at a time, but it's great progress.

Lately you've been testing various forms of commute to take you around a room - rolling like a sausage, swimming on the carpet. But your mind was set on crawling. Every time we'd put you on the floor, you'd practice. I'd get on my knees and show you how, and you'd try to do the same until you got tired, and frustrated by the difficult task. But you made it. you are yet to perfect the move to take you further in your expeditions, but it's only a matter of days.

You're eating! We've been slowly experimenting with food for the last few weeks. A bite here and a bite there. On your birthday Mommy made a meat broth with mashed potatoes and carrots. That's what I call an adult dish. Our baby food processor is not pureeing the pieces enough for you to swallow with ease.

You ate a few bites at a time, but it didn't excite you like yogurt. I planned on giving you a few spoons of yogurt last night, but you finished the entire portion with great appetite. Then you smeared it like lotion, on your hands and feet until they were covered in a layer of white paste.

You're not going to bed! Zoe, It's 11:30. Go to sleep. You are sleepy, but you insist on staying up. You used to go to bed at 9:30. Little by little you pushed your bedtime, and now it's bordering midnight. Last night we put you in bed at 11:15. You started crying. We decided to let you cry it out, but the cries became louder. I peeked in, and found you sitting on the bed, facing the door and crying in the dark. When you saw me, you looked at me with terrorized eyes, begging to be rescued from a distressful situation. From what? I picked you up and brought you back into the living room. You are a happy baby in the company of mommy and Papa. Happy six months!

Herculina

Herculina... That's what we've been calling you lately. You lift your laundry basket with one hand, lock your grip on our cheeks, nails penetrating our skin, you kick like a race horse, and carry your weight on your feet, intrepid. Even the doctor noticed your strength. You're tall, with strong quads. Looks like you'll kick some ass.

Solid food mini success

Little Zoe,

The sippy cup experiment went relatively well. So did the butternut squash. The colorful spoon going into my mouth got your attention and you started moving your lips as you watched me eat. You accepted a few spoons, each with uncertainty and doubt, then you got control of the spoon and used the squash as face mask.

Apples are still your favorite. When you see me eat an apple, your eyes get fixed on the fruit, as you reach your arms forward, hold it with two hands (or feet), and suck the juice with appetite.

No potatoes

Grandma Maria informed me of the potato incident... of your rejection of the starchy paste with disgust and quenched mouth. The banana and the butternut squash shared the same lot.

I know what to do. It's Friday. Mommy doesn't work on weekends. You and I are going to eat like grownups - the way you like it.  You don't like to be treated like a baby. You like to do what we do. I bought two identical sippy cups and a set of baby spoons. All colorful and fun. We will sit together and have a meal, using the same type of spoon and cup. We will do this every day. First on the menu, pureed butternut squash!

Milk siblings

Baby Zoe,

You are an only child, but you have many milk siblings, through the milk bank, and one through family acquaintanceship. A  little girl, younger than you by a few months.

The dollar value of the milk I donated so far was quoted high - $1723.50 for 383oz - that it's hard to believe the bank is not making profit. So I'm looking for other ways to share the milk. I posted an ad on a website where people sell milk, and got an email from a man. Turns out, there is a whole subculture of men wanting breastmilk. I might have to keep donating it to the bank as the freezer is continuously filling up. Your refusal to drink from the bottle when I'm at work, is not helping.

Now that I'm working full-time, your hatred toward the bottle pushed us toward solid foods two weeks sooner than planned. I come home at lunchtime to feed you, but you go hungry for hours until my work day ends. Yesterday I asked nonna Maria to feed you some grated apples. Today for your afternoon meal nonna Maria will steam a potato and puree it with breast milk. Sounds pretty tasty. Can't wait to hear how it went.

Love,
Mommy.